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When you debate this issue and use the word “choice” as your key defence, do you mean the same “choices” (quote on quote) that you would accept for your kids or close friends? If the alternative career paths wouldn't provide an acceptable level of living for our children, then how can we so flippantly use the word “choice” as a justification for what these girls do?
Yet being from the social underclass, divorced/separated (more often than not with kids) prior to the bar, the only Thai men they have access to on a serious relationship level are also from that social underclass.
I see a girl who has sacrificed her own happiness, and potentially her mental stability, for the benefit of others. And then I see a plethora or foreign men coming to exploit, not help, as they may proclaim, the unfortunate situation of a woman failed by a society that does not provide social welfare or adult education for single mothers, and does not hold men in the slightest bit accountable for their offspring.
No doubt someone will surf on through here and tell me that many bar girls do the job by choice, making that self-serving observation that “she doesn't have to do it if she doesn't want to”.
And it's this sugar-coated version of prostitution that makes it easier to ignore the truth.
However, the more I learnt about the industry, the social-economic structure of the country, the systematic oppression of the lower classes and regional prejudice, the more I couldn’t help but see the radiating internal sadness and longing to be respected… Strangely, men seem to get so caught up in the ego trip of being a “handsome man” that they neglect to notice that these bar girls are simply young Thai women, and by preference probably don't actually fancy western men.
So, pressure falls on the girl to find work to support the children and her aging parents, who, by the way, she has already disappointed by having a failed marriage, and further upset by now being a single mother and scarring the face of family pride.